Take that, death. (part 2)

And yet there is more to say.

When I think about it . . . I still am prone to deny what God has said. I still want to dismiss it and be afraid of having my heart broken again. Yet . . . can I . . . even now?

I was thinking of Thomas today. Of how disillusioned he must have been when Christ died. Of how he doubted so much he wanted to touch the wounds of the resurrected Christ. And I realized God is not mad at me. I have doubted, so much, so often, and He says, "Hey . . . I understand why, touch my wounds and see I am real."

I have become aware of something else as well. I tend to get pretty down about how small and weak I think my faith is. About how much bigger and stronger I wish it was. And the last few days I've been talking to a few people, and I've realized just how much better off I am than I thought. I know God speaks, and I know how to hear Him. I believe He can do anything. I believe if I can hear His call, I can throw myself at it without fear (though I still have fear in the hearing). God just builds me up, because He rocks.

This morning at worship I had an incredible moment. I was worshiping, and I noticed everyone tends to go up. They lift their hands, they raise their eyes/heads. And I wasn't doing it. I mean at times I was, but mostly my inclination of being lost in that expression was to clench my arms. To get on my knees and bow down. To place my arms over my head. And I wondered why and then I heard it. "You are a warrior. My warrior." And there it was. God just rings my ears.

What makes that even more incredible is how much that idea has been on my heart lately. Every morning for the past 4 days or so I've woken up feeling this desire to . . . fight, to destroy.

I've also been hearing lyrics lately, to songs I've heard 100 times before. And one is by this great band called Destroy the Runner. And I just heard this line yesterday: "Take my hands and turn them into weapons. Change my plans, and make them into yours. Take this man, and turn his sight from demons. All I am is wanting You more."

God is . . .

God just is!

Okay, so all of this must seem very disconnected and crazy. I'm just hyped up on God and Him being awesome and speaking and . . . just . . . yeah.

I will leave all you my dear friends with this:

We fall on our faces and say we are not worthy. But that is not true, it just used to be. The sacrifice of blood is not to cover us up. It is not to make us look like we are worthy. It is not to exploit a loophole that gives us access to life with God despite not being worthy. The blood of Christ washes us. God used the sinless Lamb to reconcile us to Himself. Washing away and forgetting our transgressions.

We are princes and princesses of the King of kings. The ruler of all. The conqueror of the world. The conqueror of death.

We have become the righteousness of God.

Take that, death.