The Feel Good Drag

Is a ridiculously good song by the band Anberlin.  I recently made a new playlist with every single emery and Anberlin song on it.  To give an understanding, if music made by Christians is the Bible, those two bands are kind of like Song of Songs.  They deal with guy/girl relationships.
And indeed, when I started writing this post, that song had particular value.  I was going to post the lyrics and everything.  Blah.  Blah.    Blah.       But it has been an entire week since I started this post.  And even though the song probably fits better now, I care a lot less about that fact.  Go figure.  But the post is still named that because . . . well because it does still fit, and better now.  And I don’t feel like changing it.
I suppose I should first apologize for not having done a post in the last week.  I think eventually I’ll figure this “regularly” thing out.  The only solace I suppose I can offer is that last week I was extremely busy.  A fact which has twice caused some pretty interesting conflict that I’ll only tease you with instead of explain.
I get so frustrated with myself when I don’t post and then try to.  Part of it is of course because of the fact I again didn’t keep up with it.  But another is the effect that has on the conversation.  The longer I go without posting, the more happens, and the more I need/want to say.  So I either say it all, or do what I did last time and just talk about the most recent thing weighing.  Neither is satisfactory.  If I just talk about the one thing than so much gets left unsaid, and in many cases, unexamined because I never talk about it.  And if I do talk about everything, I don’t remember it all and the ideas and the writing of the post suffer.
So last week was . . . interesting.  For sure.  I taught CAKE all by myself last week.  Which was exciting, and quite a bit of fun.  The word on the street is that I did well, so I’ll let it stand.  The week also involved some great hang out time and some great discussions.  A date on Friday night with some tacked on baking on Saturday and then the ubiquitous surprise party.  This time for Jenn.  It was a wig party, and therefore, pretty hilarious.  The size/mix of people was pretty great because there ended up being lots of dancing/singing/noise/laughing.
And Sundays, gosh do I love Sundays.  Although the last two I’ve taken to running 21-22 hrs straight, which is . . . interesting.  I can’t say bad because its not, but at the end of the day I am pretty tired.  Good tired though.  Fortunately yesterday started later than 4:45, but not much.
iCampus was absolutely insane yesterday.  It was the second week of the “What in the world are we doing?” series and the message had to do with poverty (globally and locally), its causes, and what role the church has in helping.  And Jenn was fired up.  I thought it was going to go nuclear a few times.  It was especially interesting because we had a few visitors in for the first service, so there were 6 of us kicking this around in the tiny ibooth.
Today was crazy in its own right.  Due to various things, I got in 6 arguments today.  Only two of which involved me operating with any modicum of grace.  In one I lost this grace, and in the other I handled it about as well as I can imagine.  The second one involved the girl from the date, so you can get a sense of how that is going. (I haven’t been putting more in the other blog, but check it tomorrow for more information on that aspect of things.)  So I suppose you could say today was not the best day I’ve ever had.
I imagine by now you’re wondering what this post is “about.”  And I guess that means its time to talk about it.  In part I’d like to talk about some very general things I’ve learned/thought about Christian dating lately.  But I think those will have to wait, so really I’d have to say this is about listening and assumptions.
Today this big realization hit me.  I’m not sure how long I’ve missed making a bigger deal out of this, but its really been a big issue the last few weeks.  I’m not sure how to most succinctly describe/complain about it, but it comes down to this weird dichotomy.  Even as I’ve noticed people shying away from confrontation and truth by relative thinking, they also breed contempt and derision by assumptive listening.
Studies have routinely shown that when engaged in conversation, people spend most of the “listening” time waiting to or planning to speak.  A rather troubling dual cause-and-effect of this is that people assume they know what the other person is thinking, or means by what they say.  We assume that our understanding is definitively so.  And we then act on that assumption, either confusing the discussion, or angering the other person or people involved.
The best example I can give is this ongoing discussion Jenn and I have been having about personal faith vs. kingdom faith.  I hold that the individual relationship with God is of primary importance, but Jenn says that the outward portion is most important.  So yesterday in the ibooth argument, Jenn and I talked about this again, and at some point I realized she misunderstood my position.  She was viewing what I said as an exclusive, or absolute.  And instead of asking me if that’s what I meant, she went with it.  This example is meant in no way to disparage Jenn.  I respect her and don’t this to come across as a castigation.  Unfortunately for her, its just the best example I can think that I’m willing to share here.  But its happened a number of times in the last few weeks.  And it never turns out well.  Sometimes terribly.
If somebody says or does something that bothers you, you should be willing to talk to them about it.  And that should start by being willing to make sure you understand the situation.
This is unwelcome pessimism.
::sigh::
More posts coming soon, count on it.  There is a lot to say.  Including a serious encounter with God.
Psalm 33:5
“His delight is in righteousness and wisdom; the earth is full of the mercy of the Lord.”