Wowzers

Haha. woo.

All day I've been telling myself I was going to post on the blog tonight. And now its late, 1:30, and I have so much I want to say, I can think of at least 4 posts. I just spent about an hour on the phone with Zane, who is in California right now. I kind of feel . . . weird, light headed and a little loopy. At one point we both took turns calling Kyle until he answered, 2 o'clock his time. I finally got a hold of him, and when he answered I had no idea what to say. I started laughing and hung up. I called Zane back and we laughed for a good 5 minutes. Oh non-alcoholic drunk dialing . . . you and I are friends now. BFFAE!!!

Yesterday (Sunday) was a good day. It started earlier in the week, when my mom started making fun of this church. The church is called "The Church at Indian Lake" which my mom thought was a poor name for a church. I pointed out it was no different than something like Portland Industrial Plumbing, and as such was good, it says what they do and where they are. So when I'm making up my mind about where to go to church on Sunday my mind comes back to that conversation. After talking with Sam I'd made up my mind I was going to try a smaller church in hopes of meeting more people. I looked up CIL online and was intrigued by how well the sermon topic seemed to fit my situation and feelings.

So Sunday morning I throw on a nice t-shirt and jeans and head to church. At first I think I may have woefully misjudged the atmosphere of the church and I second guess going. Everyone I see in the parking lot has dress clothes on. It's odd how quickly my plain shirt made me self conscious, it had a nice bird pattern on it, but I felt like it might as well have been a "Hexed Clothing" t-shirt for how I felt.

As I walked inside I realized it was mostly a fluke, but more importantly, no one really cared. So the service kicked along. Sang "Our God is a God who saves" for the second time in as many days. Less really, did it just the night before. Coincidence? I am starting to believe in those less and less, at least when it comes to God.

By and large the service was . . . nothing spectacular. It was good mind you. But I just never felt floored. Never felt really engaged in the music. The message was good, but even as it spoke to my head, I couldn't feel it resonate. Honestly it may have just been me. Where I was. But . . .

Even so a few amazing things happened. First, I met a few people, and they introduced themselves to me imagine that. I sat next to this nice guy right around my age named Joseph and his female companion (wife, girlfriend). They've been about 3 times. At least 3 other people took note to come get my name and remember it. Considering how many places I've been recently, and this is the first time that happened. I'm impressed. I'm already planning on coming back.

At the end of the service there were people up front offering to pray for people. I tried to fight it, but I could feel the Holy Spirit practically dragging me up there. So I hook up with Dave, the tall ginger of a student ministries director. I tell him what I need prayer for and he just goes to town. I can feel it coming. God is listening.

After the service I happen to meet the pastor and he tells me to see his wife about the church's young adult group, that happens to meet on Sunday nights, convenient coincidence. I leave and putz around. Run errands, do work around the house, clean my room up a little and think of finishing painting it.

At 5:25 I'm over at the Allison's, surprisingly calm, just ready. I sit with Aaron for a few minutes and tell him a little of my story. Then people start arriving. And people I like. And people who are outgoing. And people who are excited to see me and to bring me in. None of the exclusion that can often come with Christian small groups. The discussion itself was great, and gave me a few stories I'll be writing about in a future post.

Afterward we went over to Drake's Creek to play softball in the dark. For a good 2 hours. I had a great night.

One interesting part was again being around attractive females. This time far more welcoming and engaging. There was one in particular that caught my attention. Very cute, dark hair, warm, nice, fit, open yet not over the top, and seemed to be almost asking me to flirt. But really . . . I couldn't have cared less. As of yet I want no one else. In fact every woman I meet makes me desire Heather more. Its as though their positive qualities magnify her own. Which would be great if she hadn't convinced herself she hates me because I'm a monster. Is this another coincidence?

The best of it, there are guys I really think I can get on with. I still don't know how long this will last, God keeps me in the dark on some things but . . . there is hope. There is promise. There is deliverance.